Alcoholizing

[cb12]

I've been doing some reading recently and it's brought up a question. In some respects it relates to the nature v nurture argument, but anyways here goes- how do you, if at all, keep from "alcoholizing" all of your possible ACoA problems or issues? Or to put it another way, how do you know if the issue stems from having an alcoholic parent/guardian or if that's just who you are?

I don't feel things. I am typically guessing at what the appropriate emotion is. I could say, that's because my dad was an alcoholic and he didn't show emotion so I didn't. Or it could be a biology thing, where I have some funky DNA connection that makes me so numb or detached.

I know this is going to sound Codie, but I'm going to throw it out there- sometimes I worry that my dad becomes the scapegoat for ALL of my personal issues, when maybe he/his addiction really isn't to blame for all of them.

If this has been covered in another thread, please feel free to direct me to it. It's a complicated topic to say the least.

[DavidG]

Was a time when i viewed the whole world from out the
bottom of an empty brown bottle...

I did discover my feelings and emotions... had no words for them
and had to work that out.

had to take 'baby steps' until I figured out how they worked.

I don't tease my mind too much with nature versus nurture.
I do give it some thought sometimes... I can do that with
gratitude now...

the serenity prayer helps me to break down what is real.

Some time ago I used it but forgot to use the first two words.

And then 'dang and blast!' I had to find words for that too.

At the moment I am spending time to talk with other people
about these things...

Thanks for the opportunity to share, cb12

-D.

[Kialua]

Very heavy. I guess it's not so much where our traits come from but how to deal with them that is important. The ACoA helped me sort out and deal with them. This forum helps me realize I am not alone. Once again this weekend I shared a quick one sentence childhood story that I thought was nothing but the hearer was left with the "deer in headlights" look. Then I realized I had gone too far.

Once we realize which traits are trying to control us the most then we can find solutions for dealing with them and find relief.