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|06-09-2010, 10:12 AM||#1 (permalink)|
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Humble, tx
Blog Entries: 1
I'm working on being an actor rather than a reactor.
I put up roomate signs at a couple of the clubs and some online free places.
1st three on line replies were from xabf! I did not reply.
I advertised for a clean & sober female preferred.
I'm trying to stop feeding my fear. I'm turning stuff around, when I think, this isn't going to work, I try to think the opposite, like... I'm a kind, good person, and the same kind of person is going to be a perfect roomate, who will rent from me, soon!
My home is safe and beautiful,and there's so much here( pools, sports, gym, etc and a sane person will reply to my ads.
This is taking much effort. Seriously, I feel defeated, simply because my natural way of looking at things is not the best for me.
I have heard fear described as false events appearing real. I agree. But I'm still scared.
So I am reaching out to my sr fam. Can someone please stop the squirrel cage in my mind that runs on fear? I need to focus on faith that I'm going to be ok. I guess my parenting skills are not so good, because I still want encouragement! I tell myself it's going to be ok, even better, yet fear and doubt still plague me.
|06-12-2010, 08:23 AM||#2 (permalink)|
Join Date: Sep 2004
I don't know if this helps, but big platonic, safe, loving hug of encouragement. ((((Hug))))
i read this thing which im gonna try which is to just for a moment, pray only on "god" (whatever that means to you) and nothing else, no ex-bf, no warped family, no problem x y or z....just god (and step 11 his will for me), gonna hope it helps me.....again heh...
I have heard it said that Courage is Fear that has said it prayers.
meaning that, I still feel afraid after I pray but the prayer pushes me through it. it doesn't absolve it....I have to walk through the fire, walk through the rain, then I make it. It doesn't happen any other way for me. Sucks but I have also come to learnt I can't decide "if" i will accept life on lifes terms, only "how" I can do that.
For me, alanon meetings helped me because the comfort and support of the people who just listened to me and doing service gave me some confidence in myself...mostly it is just one day at a time. Congratulations on all your efforts too, not too many give us the encouragement and praise we feel we deserve for all our hard efforts at life, at least i can feel that way, so good on you. keep on coming back to meetings, keep on living one minute, one moment, one day at a time and know that you are loved, believed and you will be ok. xx
|The Following User Says Thank You to utopia For This Useful Post:|| |
|06-12-2010, 09:24 AM||#3 (permalink)|
Join Date: Aug 2007
I'm learning to parent myself as well. Sometimes, when I'm especially low, I actually TALK to myself, out loud because the scared, fearful, feels unworthy little person inside needs some loving guidance. I tell myself that it will all turn out okay, that I don't have to do everything today and I don't have to be perfect or even right, I just have to do the best I can TODAY. And it helps. It might help you.
I also practice affirmations. I am enough. I have enough. I will be okay.
Sending hugs and good energy your way, Serenebynow.
|The Following User Says Thank You to roxiestone For This Useful Post:|| |
|07-05-2010, 06:47 PM||#4 (permalink)|
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Upper Midwest
Sounds like you're doing pretty good to me, especially the positive self-talk! Give yourself some credit for how far you have come.
I have a bunch of little square bits of paper with affirmations on them posted up all over my house - weight management ones in the kitchen, financial reminders in my office, and self-love in my bedroom. They remind me, in my own words and handwriting, what I believe, in my more self-loving moments.
I still sometimes do something to soothe myself when feeling anxious or depressed, as I believe loving parent ought to. I lie down, whisper "shhhh...shhh" over and over while running my hand over my hair. It may seem silly, but it does help, and comforts me.
One thing that I realized, after failed relationships (platonic, romantic, family), is that I can now do things for myself and say things to myself that I'd always wished someone else would...like paying myself a compliment about my eyes, for example. I also pay those kinds of compliments to others...whether they reciprocate or not doesn't affect me. I can choose to expect it or not, and if they don't, it's no skin off my nose!
I have somewhat of the same attitude with my FOO (narcissistic mother, mostly) - I can choose to be offended at their comments, or I can choose to consider the source and not let it affect how I see and think about myself. (Basically, "To He** with 'em).
Maybe seems a little cold, but it works, and keeps my from wondering "Why?"
No Storm Can Shake my innermost calm
while to that rock I'm clinging...
Since Love is Lord o'er Heaven and Earth,
How can I keep from Singing?
-Enya (old Quaker hymn)
|The Following User Says Thank You to TheGirlInside For This Useful Post:|| |
|07-14-2010, 08:21 PM||#5 (permalink)|
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: ohio usa
Wow- you have received some really great comments here. there are awesome people out here, caring for us , arent there!
you are doing a good job of being brave, and of thinking of the things you need to think. just as Utopia said, just keep on living one minute , one moment, one day at a time, know you are loved, believed,and that you will be ok- I think that is beautifully said.
It sure sounds like you know what you need, and I think it sounds like you are doing the right things. It is good to have this family here , isn't it.
big hug, and let us know how it is going.
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