Hi, new here - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information

ViolaMary · 10-20-2009, 08:49 AM

Hello, I am new at this forum and English is not my first language, so please bear with me.

My main problem is isolation because of shame and guilt. After I divorced my alcoholic husband, I feel alone. I have not the strength to meet people anymore, so I isolate myself.

I used to be popular and outgoing, now I don´t know what to do.
I have been like this for nine years.

ViolaMary

discontentmiser · 10-20-2009, 04:51 PM

Hi, welcome

I also self isolate. Just today I was with a bunch of other young people (like me) and I didn't really talk to anyone. I had some crazy idea that any second they would all turn on me and say how much no one liked me and I was a horrible person, etc.

I never was popular or outgoing, so I can't compare.

"I have not the strength to meet people anymore" I totally understand. I don't have the strength to do much of anything.

I also feel very alone.

you are no longer alone here

DM

**DesertEyes** · 10-20-2009, 08:01 PM

Hello there ViolaMary, and pleased to "meet" you

Quote:

Originally Posted by ViolaMary

...I used to be popular and outgoing, now I don´t know what to do. ...

I think you are doing the right thing by joining this forum. You can "meet" a lot of people thru the computer without needing any strength at all. Also try "next door" at our forum for ex-spouses of alcoholics:

Friends and Family of Alcoholics - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information

I'm glad you decided to joing us. By the way, your English is _much_ better than my Finnish

Mike

takincareome · 10-21-2009, 11:12 AM

Hi ViolaMary, welcome! You are NOT alone even though I know you feel that way. We are here to help. Please keep posting here.

Al-anon is a worldwide organization. Maybe there are some meetings in your area? It's a good way to meet people who understand the way you feel and have also dealt with the problem of alcoholism.

xoxo. Hugs!

Iwanttoheal · 10-21-2009, 01:32 PM

Hi ViolaMary - glad you have found us.

You are no longer alone and there is amazing strength to be found in these forums.

I hope you visit often, IWTHxxx

ice17 · 10-24-2009, 06:09 PM

I am an ACoA and i understand about self isolation. I find that it is difficult after having lived with an alcoholic or addict and having your behaviour and personality changed, to go back to being how you were. A mild depression is usually also present and unless someone has lived with an alcoholic, they dont really understand what you have gone through. That is why this site is so great. Because everyone here understands what you are going through and you dont have to worry about anyone thinking you are weird or crazy.

Whenever i feel a depression phase comming on, i tend to self isolate. I dont feel that i can talk to anyone about it, so i ignore the world for a few days. Some suggestions that i have might be to take vitamin B, which boosts ceratonin. Also, i dont know if you have had counselling, but that can help a lot. I also suggest trying one new thing a month. It sounds a bit strange, but if you slowly introduce a new activity or interest for yourself, it encourages you to interact with people.

10-20-2009, 08:49 AM	#1 (permalink)
ViolaMary Member Join Date: Oct 2009 Location: Finland Posts: 1	Hi, new here Hello, I am new at this forum and English is not my first language, so please bear with me. My main problem is isolation because of shame and guilt. After I divorced my alcoholic husband, I feel alone. I have not the strength to meet people anymore, so I isolate myself. I used to be popular and outgoing, now I don´t know what to do. I have been like this for nine years. ViolaMary

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10-20-2009, 04:51 PM	#2 (permalink)
discontentmiser Member Join Date: Jul 2009 Location: canada Posts: 50	Hi, welcome I also self isolate. Just today I was with a bunch of other young people (like me) and I didn't really talk to anyone. I had some crazy idea that any second they would all turn on me and say how much no one liked me and I was a horrible person, etc. I never was popular or outgoing, so I can't compare. "I have not the strength to meet people anymore" I totally understand. I don't have the strength to do much of anything. I also feel very alone. you are no longer alone here DM

10-21-2009, 11:12 AM	#4 (permalink)
takincareome Member Join Date: Aug 2009 Location: Georgia (the state, not the country!) Posts: 104	Hi ViolaMary, welcome! You are NOT alone even though I know you feel that way. We are here to help. Please keep posting here. Al-anon is a worldwide organization. Maybe there are some meetings in your area? It's a good way to meet people who understand the way you feel and have also dealt with the problem of alcoholism. xoxo. Hugs!

10-21-2009, 01:32 PM	#5 (permalink)
Iwanttoheal Member Join Date: Aug 2009 Location: UK Posts: 137	Hi ViolaMary - glad you have found us. You are no longer alone and there is amazing strength to be found in these forums. I hope you visit often, IWTHxxx

10-24-2009, 06:09 PM	#6 (permalink)
ice17 Member Join Date: Oct 2009 Posts: 14	I am an ACoA and i understand about self isolation. I find that it is difficult after having lived with an alcoholic or addict and having your behaviour and personality changed, to go back to being how you were. A mild depression is usually also present and unless someone has lived with an alcoholic, they dont really understand what you have gone through. That is why this site is so great. Because everyone here understands what you are going through and you dont have to worry about anyone thinking you are weird or crazy. Whenever i feel a depression phase comming on, i tend to self isolate. I dont feel that i can talk to anyone about it, so i ignore the world for a few days. Some suggestions that i have might be to take vitamin B, which boosts ceratonin. Also, i dont know if you have had counselling, but that can help a lot. I also suggest trying one new thing a month. It sounds a bit strange, but if you slowly introduce a new activity or interest for yourself, it encourages you to interact with people.

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