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Hi everyone! I found this message board and thought I would give it a whirl. Let me tell you a bit about myself and then if you have any comments or suggestions I would really appreciate the feed back. I am 28 years old and was diagnosed with a variety of mental illnesses a couple of years back. They were treating me for bi-polar disorder, depression, PTSD and anxiety. They had me on so many medications that I didn't know whether to scratch my watch or wind my butt. I developed an bulemia during this time and lost 30 pounds in 5 weeks. I only weighed 138 to begin with. It was horrible. I was hospitalized twice and they would not discharge me. Ended up getting pregnant (was in a committed relationship) and lost the baby due to the meds. Talked to my Doctor and we discontinued all of the meds. I have been doing so much better. I still battle with depression and all the other illnesses but not to the degree I did on meds. I have been struggling lately though and I am terrified to talk to a doctor for fear that he/she will want me on meds. I am very functional and take great care of myself and my two boys. I work full time, take classes on line and even coach soccer. I just realized while starting a new relationship that I have co dependant issues. It's bad and it will end up destroying this relationship like it has all of my others. I assume that when my boyfriend isn't with me he is with another girl. I never say how I feel so I don't rock the boat. In the past in other relationships I had such strong fears of being abandoned I would end up pushing them away. I have no self confidence and struggle with why someone would want to be with me. I have been drinking a lot lately pretty much everyday just a drink or two but I am beginning to think it might be hard for me to stop. I used to drink alot. Alcoholism runs very deep in my family. Both my dad and my uncle died drinking and driving. I know that this is a lot to just put out there. I am sorry but any help would be appreciated. Does anyone have words of advice? Do any of you struggle with this.?
