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Originally Posted by Bozo I cannot believe how far I have fallen from grace. How could I be this stupid? I have been sober for over 18 years and yet in my current condition that time means nothing. I have not been to an AA meeting for over a month and I have been abusing prescription pain medicine for about 7 months.
I have been living a lie. I have lost my way. I am a poor example of someone working a recovery program and sharing my ESH.
I want to get off this merry go round, find myself and find the grace of God in my life again.
A prayer for me please, I am so sorry for this relapse. |
You are not stupid, not in the least. This is a deadly disease, it's not a character flaw. And you're here doing the right thing, ratting yourself out. That takes amazing courage. I for one, admire your strength. Go easy on yourself. I remember being in treatment after my last relapse and beating myself up mercilessly. They told me to put down the bat, pick up the feather. It'll be ok. Get yourself whatever help you need. You're in my thoughts and prayers.