I'm not sure if this is the right place to post this...here it goes.
I needed to have this here, I posted it last year and it helped while I continued to struggle with my addiction. I read it over and over and over, and knew I had to wait. I'm really hoping it will have an impact on those who are struggling today, never ever give up.
Today I'm in a better state of mind, which took a long time to get here, finally have a peacefulness, calmness in me that is so unfamiliar, but gratefully working on getting used to it. No more flash backs, no more racing thoughts at all, thanking God for the medical professionals who know how to help, and thanking God even more for giving me the courage and strength to finally be able to open up and be honest with my Dr, today I feel what I'd consider being NORMAL is.
Thanking my God for waiting, I have a strong feeling He's shook his head more then once laughing, with all the little pokes, pushes, some a bit to hard mind you, trying to wake me up, whispers showing me the way, while I continued to struggle, always asking for help with this, but then not totally opening my heart to listen to feel, which really was not intentional, I had myself buried way to deep in thoughts that just didn't matter with what had gone on. Today it's ok, it's ok. In my defence, He made me and gave me a stubborn gene, where else did it come from?
Wait 
Desperately, helplessly, longingly, I cried.
Quietly, patiently, lovingly God replied
I pled and I wept for a clue to my fate
And the Master so gently said, "Child, you must wait!"
"Wait?, you say, wait!" my indignant reply.
"Lord, I need answers, I need to know why!
Is your hand shortened? Or have you not heard?
By FAITH I have asked, and am claiming your Word.
"My future and all to which I can relate
Hangs in the balance, and you tell me to WAIT?
I'm needing a 'yes' a go-ahead sign
Or even a 'no' to which I can resign
"And Lord, you promised that if we believe
We need but to ask, and we shall receive
And Lord, I've been asking, and this is my cry
I' weary of asking! I need a reply
Then quietly, softly, I learned of my fate
As my Master replied once again, "You must wait."
So, I slumpted in my chair, defeated and taut
And grumbled to God, "So, I'm waiting..for what?
He seemed then to kneel and His eyes wept with mine
And he tenderly said, "I could give you a sign"
I could shake the heavens, and darken the sun
I could raise the dead, and cause mountains to run
All you seek, I could give, and pleased you would be
You would have what you want-but, you wonldn't know ME.
You'd not know the depth of my love for each saint
You'd not know the power that I give to the faint
You'd not learn to see through the clouds of despair
You'd not learn to trust just by knowing I'm there
You'd not know the joy of resting in me
When the darkness and silence were all you could see
You'd never experience the fullness of love
As the peace of my Spirit descends like a dove
You'd know that I give and I save....(for a start)
But you'd not know the depth of the beat of my heart
The glow of my comfort late into the night
The faith that I give when you walk without sight
The depth that's beyond getting jus what you asked
Of an infinite God, who makes what you have LAST
You'd never know, should your pain quickly flee
What it means that 'My grace is sufficient for thee'
Yes, your dreams for your loved ones overnight would come true
But, oh, the loss! if I lost what I'm doing in you!
"So, be silent, my child, and in time you will see
THAT THE GREATEST OF GIFTS IS TO GET TO KNOW ME
And though often may my answers seem terribly late
My wisest of answers is still but to WAIT
