[Done_With_It]

July 24th

Since I was sexually abused as a child, my fear of people is great. Consequently, I find it difficult to trust others. During treatment for my eating disorder, I worked hard to trust the professionals in the center. In my mind they had a hidden agenda I felt like people were bent on hurting me.

Part of my recovery has been to risk trusting others with little parts of me. I try to stay open and honest, but being vulnerable is terrifying! In truth, people are only human; they will sometimes hurt me, even if it is unintentional. My tendency is to shut down. I want to retreat into myself and push others far away. Each time I get hurt, vulnerability is more of a risk.

I have learned, though, that I cannot walk alone on this path to wholeness. I need people, as much as I hate to admit it. I am willing to push through the fear of being hurt and trust people, a little bit at a time.

God is not limited by factors like time, energy, and the ability to love. He is always there for me, even when people fail to meet my needs.