Hello Buzz
Just want to wish you luck now in everything you do.
I think its natural to start to withdraw from this SR forum as living life is what it all has to be about now? I'm not suggesting that addiction is anything from which we "recover" - and eternal vigilance is the cost? But I do think that we can change - change our behaviours and thoughts - so that we no longer want to "escape" rather than face reality. This change is so fundamental to recovery - and it does seem to be the basis of the 12 step programs and other recovery programs. Change has to happen or we will just return to addictive behaviour and to abusing substances. Seems so obvious now!
I so agree with what you write above - and armed with the self knowledge surely we can now get on with living life to the full. Like you - I can only say that life has been wonderful since giving up the pills - the clarity, colour, sounds.............. are just exhilirating. Work has become more challenging.................. and my only regrets are those wasted years when I accomplished absolutelty ZERO! In fact - I let so much pass me by................. yes - I am regretful of opportunities and friendships missed.
My story is not all that different to yours - using pain medication legitimately and then abusing for about 4 years.................. tapering down and then jumping off c/t at a suitable time. But unlike you - I did not take any supplements or benzos..................... something inside me just wanted to take nothing at all - allow myself to get better just in my body's own time................... no extra vitamins, no xanax.................. nothing. Now - I am not saying this is the right way to do it - but it was psychologically the only way for me to go - and at this point in time I am so happy to have done just that. I feel real victory and continue to this day to use nothing artificial. But I do try to exercise and eat well. That's not so hard!!
I havent attended AA or NA but have found such help, support and comfort in here - and will always pop in - just in case there is someone I think I might share something with.
You have been a fine travelling companion - along with many others - so I hope to see you in here from time to time?
Take care, Buzz
Woops
