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well here's one for ya... as i have mentioned, i'm out of town... have not been going to meetings as i do regular... someone sugested this drug and alky rehab center nearby... they have a monday night open speaker meeting. i as wonder'd in, all of a sudden those old feelings of aloneness started to creep in, feeling out of place, and sorts... i composed my self, and said, "What the hell is wrong with you" your among all the people of recovery... seconds later i went to introduce myself to a few peeps... then this biker guy comes over, then the surfs-up fella... i felt one among many again.
also tonight, before i left, i called my sponser,{Big Foot, and man, this boy is big} i told him i would not be around for awhile, and will check in... 5 days later, i called arg! we talked, i mentioned this thread here... he said to me Patrick, we both have had a women we love lost do to addiction and many more people. he said, now your sponsee is one of us also. BF said you can pave the way for him, like i you... BF said what you are experiencing is just growing up, handleing things in a adult way... BF told me i'm not cold, just not taking it over the top.. he asked me, can you cry, i said yes. he asked, can you get choked up watching a movie, yep. do you get a happy feeling when you take care of your friends dogs, yep... do you get angry, yep... then he asked, can you let it go and not hang on it, a yep to that too... well my friends, BF said pattee, no worries, your growing up... being restored to sanity as you will learn to know it. he also mentioned, grief, and said it will come in many forms to you in your sobriety and recovery... its all new to you...you drank and druged 85% of your life. BF said go see the theropist if you wish, it could only benefit... just keep on doing what works, and work on what doesn't.. and pattte he said, never stop asking questions...
all good wishes, and give only love............................. xxoo, pattee
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