Hey Brad...
Another good exercise to use would be to write down a list of pros/cons for "USING" and a list of pros/cons for "NOT USING." Then deeply and meticulously analyze that. It may help you to propel forward. Save it so you can look at it anytime a fleeting thought of using enters your mind.
Just try to make it through this day. Do not think about tomorrow until tomorrow.
My thoughts and prayers will be with you.
DG
P.S. Let us know how you're doing.