I started on my epic drug binge shortly after my wife left. I found myself unable to cope with life and after getting really drunk one night, someone offered me some coke and it seemed like a fine idea at the time. It was so good i decided that i had to do it every waking moment and mix morphine in with it.
and now to the point of this post
My ex wife never had an issue sending the kids to my house no matter how ****** outta my head i was. Probably because she knew that no matter how insane i was, my kids safety always came first and they never got hurt or even did anything stupid while in my care. All 4 of them are perfect angels who thankfully still love me.
It was after my ex moved outta town that i really went overboard on the drug use and was close to death when i decided to quit. After being clean a month, i traveled 600 miles to go see the kids (which my ex-wife knew about) and once i got there she wouldnt let me see them. Making the trip back was the hardest thing ive ever done. She's making a new life with her new husband and is trying to make him the kids new daddy.
So now I need to prepare for a court fight in which we will both be destroyed because of our mutually ****** up pasts, and while i should get some satisfaction out of destroying her, I just wanna see my kids.
So for right now im clean, rebuilding my business but find it impossible to be happy cause i cant see my kids. Even if i found a way to be happy, it would seem the not seeing my kids thing will always be on my mind until the dust settles and lawyers have bankrupted me.
Sorry for the long post, i needed to get it off my chest and hopefully it makes sense, all those drugs have made me a little bit dumber than i used to be.
