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hi, i understand some of your sentiment so your not alone. I dont have the answers, except it becomes easier when you start tell yourself that there is no answer. the past is the past and nothing we can see is really truth. so dont get into panic mode about things. pretend your a little girl and the world should hold you. just some thoughts to the blackhole. fear sucks everything in. let it fall down like rain around you. Its ego vs God and ego is good at pretending to be god. these are some things ive been through a bit.
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