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Hi Tammie,
I can really hear your pain and relate. I've had an anxiety disorder for most of my life that went completely untreated until I went for rehab and they put me on Lexapro which has worked wonders for me. My doctor told me that these days they are considering anxiety and depression as the same disorder and I'm not surprised because my anxiety was right along side constant struggles with depression. I'm an artist and have always used my depression to fuel my creativity which is good, but other times I feel like is enough is enough and I can't stand all this suffering any more.
One of the reasons I drank was to self medicate which of course made things worse in the end. I'm thankful that I now have something that really works on the anxiety, because without it, I seriously doubt that I would ever be able to sit through meetings and work on my recovery. I'm not in constant stress or panic mode anymore and I thought for sure, after a lifetime of suffering, this was just something I was going to have to live with for ever.
Hope I can help in some way. BTW surrendering to my HP helps a lot as well, I am the poster child for trying to pull myself up by the bootstraps which always seemed to feed my anxiety rather than alleviate it.
take care,
Ophelia
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