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Juls · 07-01-2003, 03:14 AM

Tammi,

It may sound trite, but when I was really suffering with my emotional disorders, it helped relieve some of the stress if I was able to take an attitude of acceptance. I don't mean acceptance as in well this is my life and it won't change, but acceptance of your feelings. Feelings are feelings, some feel good, some bad, or horrible. However the feelings in and of themselves are neither bad nor good. Is this making any sense.

I'm not sure what you mean by "somewhere I screwed up real bad, and now I'm paying." Do you mean in some karmic sense. I know that for me since I was already subject to emtional disorders, that using drugs aggravated that. But I don't believe that we get punished for making mistakes, by suffering emotionally and mentally, except if we are punishing ourselves. Are you perhaps punishing yourself?

That busines about pulling yourself up by your bootstraps is a philosophy I've encountered before, and maybe for some people thinking like that works. But it's just a philosophy, not something you have to try to live your life by.

I know how you feel about the depression, and just when you feeli like you have a handle on things you get knocked down. Last year I became depressed in a severe way that I had not experienced for years. I felt so discouraged that I was still struggling with this. I even thought that I might be better off not among the living. It lasted for three months, and I was already on anti-depressants. I was so depressed I couldn't even talk to anyone about it, and the one person I did talk to gave me that same speech that you got. It really pissed me off. If I could pull myself up out of my own sh** I would have gladly done so. Maybe some people like wallowing in their own misery, but I'm not one of them.

I had to accept though that I might suffer with these episodes throughout my life. I tried to embrace my depression, instead of looking at it as something to fear. I don't know what it started, but it did end.

I don't know if all this rambling is helpful, but you do see that others have gone through similar things.

Juls

07-01-2003, 03:14 AM	#4 (permalink)
Juls Member Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: California, USA Posts: 1,095	Tammi, It may sound trite, but when I was really suffering with my emotional disorders, it helped relieve some of the stress if I was able to take an attitude of acceptance. I don't mean acceptance as in well this is my life and it won't change, but acceptance of your feelings. Feelings are feelings, some feel good, some bad, or horrible. However the feelings in and of themselves are neither bad nor good. Is this making any sense. I'm not sure what you mean by "somewhere I screwed up real bad, and now I'm paying." Do you mean in some karmic sense. I know that for me since I was already subject to emtional disorders, that using drugs aggravated that. But I don't believe that we get punished for making mistakes, by suffering emotionally and mentally, except if we are punishing ourselves. Are you perhaps punishing yourself? That busines about pulling yourself up by your bootstraps is a philosophy I've encountered before, and maybe for some people thinking like that works. But it's just a philosophy, not something you have to try to live your life by. I know how you feel about the depression, and just when you feeli like you have a handle on things you get knocked down. Last year I became depressed in a severe way that I had not experienced for years. I felt so discouraged that I was still struggling with this. I even thought that I might be better off not among the living. It lasted for three months, and I was already on anti-depressants. I was so depressed I couldn't even talk to anyone about it, and the one person I did talk to gave me that same speech that you got. It really pissed me off. If I could pull myself up out of my own sh** I would have gladly done so. Maybe some people like wallowing in their own misery, but I'm not one of them. I had to accept though that I might suffer with these episodes throughout my life. I tried to embrace my depression, instead of looking at it as something to fear. I don't know what it started, but it did end. I don't know if all this rambling is helpful, but you do see that others have gone through similar things. Juls