Thanks all! I ended up going to a women's meeting last night and it was really nice to be back. I met a nice woman who also just moved here and was new to the meeting. We are both sort of in the same boat of being away and back. It was actually providential, because I couldn't find the meeting I was planning to go to, so this one was Plan B. Isn't it fun how Plan B is actually God's plan??
The realization came on pretty strong that I do need that support and strength. I'm not so put together as I like to think. Been pretty scattered and confused lately. Pulled in a million directions.
The big things I needed to learn from others in AA:
"Just do the next right thing." It's much easier to just do one thing at a time than to feel like you have to do it all all the time. That's something I'd like to try to do at work. I tend to just go full throttle as soon as I get there and then I get it all done and feel helpless and bored.
The shame and guilt I feel is what other alcoholics are feeling as well. We can decifer it all and work through it together.
The fantasy life I create for myself is what other alcoholics are doing as well. The conversations I plan out, the responses I make to questions or accusations that never happen, all the tragedies and traumas that aren't real are all side effects of this disease and if we band together, we can get through it!
So thank you to all of you for your encouragement.
