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((((History)))))))),
You've been through soooo much since you've quit smoking. Life continues. When my attitude goes to heck...it generally is because I am less-spiritually centered. The stronger my connection to my HP - the more serene I am. The more scattered my brain is - the less connection I feel. When I let life get away with taking me - instead of my HP and me - then my peace and serenity go down the pooper.
Feelings, emotions, they are normal. It's ok to feel them. It's ok not to be balanced all the time, in fact, I think it's downright impossible to always be balanced. Important thing, you are aware. Awareness is the big key. Next, what makes it better. Work the steps, talk to your sponsor. Usually when I start going off the deep end, for me, it's because there's something I fear, something I'm afraid of. Sometimes it takes someone else to help point that out to me or help me find what it is.
Give yourself a break - and a hug, big hug from me!! You're my old-timer on this board!! I know that since you've made it through these early months, that I can too. Don't think that I haven't figured out how many cigarettes all of you use to smoke a day - yea, I'm sick. I wasted a bunch of time and figured it all out. Sad, but true. With the amount that you use to smoke, History, I feel you are doing an absolutely remarkable job!!! By the way, you mentioned that you recently stopped using the wellbutrin...obviously that is an anti-depressant as well and it would take about 6-8 weeks for the full effects of the drug to wear off. So yep, you're probably right where you are suppose to be!!!
(((((((((((((((love ya)))))))))))))))),
Jen
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