You are NOT a bad mother, you love your son and would do anything to help him. My fiances(ex) mother learned when he was in his 20's that there was nothing she could possible do to help him. And beleive me she tried. She put him in the best rehab's in the county, she did everything in her power to hellp him get help. The problem was, he really didn't want to get help. Now at 40 years old, she is helping him again, financialy with rehab's, but from a distance. For her sanity, she needs to be at a distance from him now. She also got a restraining order against him many years ago because she was afraid of him. I know she loves him, but while in rehab, she told him he could not come back to her house to live anymore. He freaked out, but that was shear panic, thinking he would be homeless. She offered to pay for a hotel room on a short term basis while he got himself into a halfway house. He got out of rehab, a 28 day program and realized he did need more therapy that sitting around alone in a hotel room was not good and took counselors advise and went to another facility in Florida. What his insurance won't pay, she is. Lucky for him she can afford it. She has learned to keep herself healthy including her own emotions. She went back to talk with a counselor and I feel bad that I lost contact with her. I was an emotional wreck and thought I would do her more harm then good. I think I will send her a letter today. Please don't let yourself start to fall down that spiral of self doubt. He is where he needs to be and it's up to him if he gets out of it what he's suppose to. Do what is best for you right now, and let him do what is best for him. Hang in there, you are in my thoughts and prayers.
