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Lilya · 06-29-2003, 01:43 PM

Dear Nancy,
Thank you so much for both your replies. I am more and more aware of the fact I´m not alone. You´re so right about lies and denial being worse than continuing to practice our disease. A great weight has been lifted off my shoulder. Simply admitting the truth has been amazing. But now I need a great deal of work because I don´t want this to happen again. You mention medicin for the anger. My pshychiatrist gave me Cipramil and I´ve been taking that with good results - I haven´t hit anyone since I started the treatment, but then I haven´t had much chance, either. I´ve been dating, but I don´t dare to start a new relationship. This is tricky. But as you say: Thank God for the 12 steps. I believe there is a way through this by using them.

My therapist has also suggested a cognitive therapy along with my group work: Using the reason to guide me when I face an emotional issue. I find it very good and I am now trying to take out the words I overuse: I havwe to, I must, I cannot stand this, etc, and replace it with: It would be better, it would be preferable, This is bad, but not the end of the world. Plus constantly ask myself: What can I learn from this?

I feel a lot better doing this, but it´s tricky and the old pattern seem to come back and creep up at me, if I´m not constantly aware.

I looked at some RR forums on the Internet plus a web page called SMART, but both are too pragmatic for me. I won´t come near RR because they knock AA, and I find it a bit childish. The reading tools SMART suggest are very good, but again I take what I like and leave the rest. I once worked on an article on holocauste survivers, because my great-aunt survived both the camps in Germany and the camp in Paris in the Winter Circus during the German occupation. I cannot see how a Rational Recovery can even begin to address the emotional pain I know these people suffered. The people who didn´t die in the camps had something stronger then them to guide them, although they had to rely on their inner strenght to survive.

Have you - or anyone interested enough to read this - tried the other webs such as Rational therapy with AA?

Warmest thoughts to you Nancy, and thanks again. I really appreciate your kind reply.

:shades:

06-29-2003, 01:43 PM	#8 (permalink)
Lilya Member Join Date: May 2003 Location: Northen Europe and France Posts: 1,658	Dear Nancy, Thank you so much for both your replies. I am more and more aware of the fact I´m not alone. You´re so right about lies and denial being worse than continuing to practice our disease. A great weight has been lifted off my shoulder. Simply admitting the truth has been amazing. But now I need a great deal of work because I don´t want this to happen again. You mention medicin for the anger. My pshychiatrist gave me Cipramil and I´ve been taking that with good results - I haven´t hit anyone since I started the treatment, but then I haven´t had much chance, either. I´ve been dating, but I don´t dare to start a new relationship. This is tricky. But as you say: Thank God for the 12 steps. I believe there is a way through this by using them. My therapist has also suggested a cognitive therapy along with my group work: Using the reason to guide me when I face an emotional issue. I find it very good and I am now trying to take out the words I overuse: I havwe to, I must, I cannot stand this, etc, and replace it with: It would be better, it would be preferable, This is bad, but not the end of the world. Plus constantly ask myself: What can I learn from this? I feel a lot better doing this, but it´s tricky and the old pattern seem to come back and creep up at me, if I´m not constantly aware. I looked at some RR forums on the Internet plus a web page called SMART, but both are too pragmatic for me. I won´t come near RR because they knock AA, and I find it a bit childish. The reading tools SMART suggest are very good, but again I take what I like and leave the rest. I once worked on an article on holocauste survivers, because my great-aunt survived both the camps in Germany and the camp in Paris in the Winter Circus during the German occupation. I cannot see how a Rational Recovery can even begin to address the emotional pain I know these people suffered. The people who didn´t die in the camps had something stronger then them to guide them, although they had to rely on their inner strenght to survive. Have you - or anyone interested enough to read this - tried the other webs such as Rational therapy with AA? Warmest thoughts to you Nancy, and thanks again. I really appreciate your kind reply. :shades: __________________ Use adversity Declare Independance Lilya