[Kellye C]

I agree with Malcolm. You coming here and admitting today's struggle and what you're doing to combat it is showing others that regardless of the struggle, we can still get through this one day without picking up a drink. I have days like this too but now it's more like hours or half hours instead of days but I still hate it. I use it as a type of early warning system and I start looking trying to find out what is REALLY going on. Did somebody hurt me? Is there something I'm not wanting to face or that scares me? Am I lonely? What can I do, besides drink, to be good to myself and nurture myself? What do I really want? Most times this helps. For the really hard days I try to take a trip down memory lane and remember just how miserable it was getting sober. Or I get on the newcomers board and remember that way. Or I go to a meeting and watch those that are either brand new or just coming back. Or I go to a meeting and focus on helping someone, making someone laugh or smile, doing something for the good of my group, something to take me out of my own head. These things work for me and I hope they will work for you.

One more thing I'd like to say. I struggled at 30 days, 90 days, 6 months, 9 months, 1 year and 18 months. I'll soon have two years and I can see hints that it may be a struggle too. During these struggles my disease tries to tell me "You've gone xx number of days without a drink so maybe you're not REALLY an alcoholic." To that I say bullsh*t! These thoughts really scared me until I shared about them in a meeting. I was pulled aside after the meeting and told that these thoughts are normal and they are our disease talking to us. They are our first thought and they don't matter. What matters is our second thought, where we decide what to do about that first thought, that counts. Don't know if that will help anybody else but it sure helped me and still does when I have these insane thoughts.

Keep posting on here and let us know how you do and know we are all here for you!
Kellye