Yeah, similar story. One Dr shook his head no when I asked if I would ever be able to get off xanax. Shrink wanted to put me in hospital and detox me using xanax.
I have to be really honest here.....Technically, I was addicted...but that is the chemical nature of the drug. I was just, after so much time, medicating the withdrawals.
My detox has gone almost too smoothly, and we are being very aggressive with it and at least half the time I don't even take my full dose of taper med (valium). Mostly around the boards, I am not "clean" if I am on taper meds. So I quit with the counting days thing. I can look up the day I made a commitment to myself and that is the one that counts with me.
So I am having some trouble reconciling my understanding of addiction with many of others here.
I know what I am addicted to and that is cigarettes.
My best gf and peer at work stopped this evening and had 2 bloody marys to unwind and laugh and then went home.
To much of SR, this means I am not clean.
To me, I drank a cup of coffee this morning...that jeopardizes my sobriety to me. Not those 2 bloody marys.
Are those short happy hours a problem to me, not now, but many would say it is destined to become one. However, I know my history. If it is causing a problem,...then I don't want problems.
My work is demanding, the workload went up exponentially today....we are drilling 6 new sites, means I will have to do 100 yr absolutely thorough abstract...and I am all ready so behind on my spreadsheets and mapping. I would hire someone to do my data entry, but because it requires specialized knowledge, I wouldn't trust any one else to do it. Hubby can help with mapping. So the news is : my project just gained alot of longevity, which all in our business wish for and is going to be 10 times the work. That's going to be tough. I come home just mentally brain dead everyday as it is. They would like me to work 6 days a week. It's physical too....ever seen one of those rooms in a courthouse with the walls lined with big heavy books, those are indexes to the next set of books lining the wall from ceiling to floor. I pull those and stand at a countertop and usually run 3 or 4 files at a time, to be more efficient so I don't have to wait on copies for one before I can proceed. I don't sit at a desk, I don't take my computer in,...it is handy but if I start setting up full office everyday in the conference room and breaking it down, that is three trips in and three trips out just to carry everything. And the whole time I am walking between all these different offices in the courthouse.
I talk more about my work here because I know that Levi can picture it.
Levi, this isn't my first job in the business and I LOVE the company I work for, but alot of things they do are definitely not standard and unconventional from the bigger dogs I worked for before. I do not understand some of the decisions regarding document. Geez, I have been trained since 89 to document. Before in the bigger company I was a document specialist. Bigger compnaies pay more too. I know you are dealing with that. But I am happier with my smaller, humanistic, good client to work for and the most excellent peers. And it's experience is better on my resume. I need to learn to think in terms of paid education! And still have all my contacts/allies to touch base with or ask a question.
Is this off topic? To me, it is life, so that's all topic.
thanks to each and every one of you and thanks RUNVS for asking. I will forever be grateful to you and this thread.
I guess the teacher is there when the pupil is ready.
live