[Lilya]

Thanks, both of you.

Tammie, you miracle worker! I always feel better reading your letters. BSP Girl, I´m always in and out of therapy. It helps to a certain degree, like most things, but not fully. The extra work must come from myself.

I am still depressed, but I´m also curious. I like to look at the bottom of that black hole to see what answers I come up with. I know I want to continue my civil right´s work. It´s for Amnesty International and I feel good knowing I am contributing to something so important to me as civil rights. I get less overwhelmed by the world´s craziness, because I am really trying to help, although some cases are worse then others. It´s perhaps easier for an ex-junkie/lived on the streets/ totally out of control/ to be in situations that are so ugly it is mind boggling. I saw enough when I was on the streets. No one has to hide their shame from me.

As for other social work, it´s true. It turns the focus away from me. I know already that I want to be a better dancer, travel to more countries, write more books and maybe live in a different place - but first and foremost: Think different and on a smaller scale. I´ve been in a comfort zone and it was making me shallow.

I´m so glad I helped you, Tammie. It matters more to me than you know. Now I´m going to be silent for a while. Not here on the board, but in the real world. I´m going to try your remedy.

I need all the help I can get, but I´m going to get through it, no matter what.

Love and light,

Use adversity