Oh can I relate to........"this will pass.." I can "plan" it away....staying busy will help.....etc etc................I have found, as you mentioned also........just totally immersing myself in it..........going silent! Being silent has taught me more than any words, or talk therapy............(talk therapy excellent IMO.especially CBT) but even with that..when I become silent............it all comes together. My priorities change for one thing...I no longer need an immediate solution or quick fix.........being silent and clearing my mind og every and all expectation, thought, judgment.........really really works. It has also helped me to get rid of migraines and other severe pain...I have fibromyalgia........some days the pain just beats into a blob of tears and anger and extreme frustrations.........as soon as I stop fighting it, eliminate the need to fix it right now.........it does ease.........I cope better.and enjoy myself more.
You mentioned doing charity also makes you feel better.....I can totally relate to that.....but it also became a huge obstacle to me too.......I didn't always take so good care of myself.............and immersing myself in anothers crisis, anothers pain......helped me ignore and "cope' with mine........but whatever bugs us or challenges us may fade from mind...but it will always come back to wake us up...pain always wakes me up! Especially emotional pain..........that ache just won't ease for nothing...........the number one thing I hate about depression is.....it ruins any sense or feeling of CONTENTMENT! I have been more content though this past year than ever before in my life! And I really truly believe it comes from not fighting anything anymore.........surrendering to the moment..........sends me back such huge bonuses! I take Zoloft......it has helped tremendously..but I am a huge huge fan of cognitive behavioral therapy also..together it is unbeatable.......but another MAJOR factor IMO for coping with depression is our diet! What we feed ourselves doesn't always fuel us very well...or very far........we burn out.....maybe a check of what vitamins you may be lacking in.......
well...............sorry to ramble on............just wanted to encourage you.......I know somedays are just very very tough.......and all we can do is get through it............but truly I would approach this, at least for 1-2 days.......don't plan, or stress RESULTS...................just clear your mind..........do some journaling,........and lots of deep breathing...............I still do the meditation YOU taught me....the candle........repeating I breathe in...I breathe out.............yep..I sure do........so just eliminate that I am useless thought right now! It is erroneous and absolutely untrue! Your life has made a difference.....you shared something very helpful with me...............I still use it...almost every single day.........I can only imagine the positive impact you have had on those around you in person............
Hang in there..............it will get better. ((((warmest hugs)))