Good posts here. I hope we can help each others. I´ve suffered from depression since I was a teenager so I know what you´re going through, Mary. I´ve been sober since 1986 and it´s a constant challenge. I´ve tried many brands of meds for my depression but I think my doctor finally found me an anti-depressant I´ve tried. It´s called Cetalopram in France -Cipramil in the US.
I also stopped many times like Sidra, and it´s only recently that I came out of a very severe episode of depression. I finally accepted taking this medication every day and realized it´s like diabetes, just like you, Sidra. And the sexual promiscuity, drinking and drug-taking plus periods of isolation seem to go with this disease. Sobriety is a huge challenge and we need positive activities to replace the urge for quick“fix”.
I try different activities every day to kill the routine and I work 2 nights a week as a SOS suicide counselor. To be of service is extremely valuable.When I get into my depressed states I try to accept it and let it flow.
Sometimes I even try to increase it by watching heavy movies, like Ingmar Bergman´s films. They are so depressing, it actually makes you shake your head and think: “Oh boy! This is too much!” Works every time.
“Sleep of reason produces monsters” -Goya.