My Mom, age 72, has borderline personality disorder, chronic depression and a myriad of physical ailments that necessitate her being in a nursing home. I am sure being in a NH complicates things. She has ALWAYS had a problem with boundaries. Looking back, I can see that as a family, we usually gave into her moods so as to avoid any outbursts. Now that she is confined and unable to do what she wants and thinks she has a right to do, no matter what, she is having major tantrums that involve much verbal abuse. My father, sees a counselor regularly to deal with her and I probably will soon, as well. I am 49 years old and still have guilt dealing with her. I just had to unplug my phone to avoid hearing her scream into my machine.
Is it wrong to cut off ties with her? I feel sorry for her in a way. I know she won't change, she thinks it is all our problems, that we are torturing her,etc. She has alienated us and many of her friends have stopped visiting her. She just doesn't see it. My Dad has asked the nursing staff to have the psychiatrist come in and re-evaluate her. Dad is leaving to visit my brother and family up north later next week and I will have responsibility for her laundry, etc. So I will need to touch base with her. It is awful to say, but I am nervous out of my mind. I guess I need to know if anyone has any similar experience and how you are or did deal with it.
