[teke]

i am a recovering crack addict and abused codie(3yrs+), i feel like i am gonna snap. i 've internalizes my feeling since 7yrs old,52 now, beginning with my father's death. oldest of 6 kids, i had to be strong, 6 kids of my own that i raise basically on my own with gods help and 7 grands that need me. not suicidal or anything but a lot of times i feel like death would be a welcome sight. my hubby is active addict and have been for 20yrs. he's gone out of the house finally and good riddens. this is about me. i am so tired of being "strong", my heart hurts all the time, good bad or ugly, up of down doesn't make a difference and now my heart screams for peace.i do read the literature, everything i can get my hand on, i clean,i study and i just sweep. i can't afford drs, transportation, can't walk far due to neck injury, i try to do anything that i can to keep my mind off the pain. i wanted to get drunk but i have made it this far, thank god. would you please pray for me and my kids.