| just random thoughts in my head
well i saw my doc a few days ago. it had only been 2 weeks since i saw her last, but i have not been doing well (depression wise) and called her because i couldn't deal anymore. she started me on Lamictal, it is supposed to help the mood swings and depression. i am already on the max dosage of Effexor- 450 mg- and it is the only antidepressant that ever helped. i also take seroquel 50mg at night to help with sleep.
does anyone ever feel like they are just a lost cause? like nothing is going to help or make you feel better? i feel like that every day. i have tried so many meds in the last 12 years. did the whole therapy thing for almost 3 years. it helped, but i still feel like life just isn't meant for me. i keep trudging along, all the while feeling like....i don't know.....like i am wrong or life is wrong. am i just crazy??? if someone has felt like they were never meant to live or shouldn't be in this world for more than half their lives, can you still say "oh you're just depressed"?
this has been on my mind so much lately. i have tried explaining it to my doctor, but i don't think she understands or gets what i am trying to say. or maybe she agrees with me and doesn't want to make me feel bad. i don't know. i just wish i could turn my brain off sometimes.
__________________ Jessica  "You can have a perfectly normal life.....
if you accept the fact that your life will never be perfectly normal" You laugh because I am different...I laugh because you are all the same |