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equus · 06-02-2006, 03:36 AM

My friend was paying for his aunt in hospital, 1000 rupees a day - more than his earnings so soon they would have to bring her home to die. She was in her 70's and he took me with his family to see her, she used to be an english teacher and was keen to ask me questions in english. His sister in law was there and because she was deaf he and his wife busily translated both from english into sinhalese signing with some funny errors I gathered!

I asked him whether many people died because they couldn't afford healthcare and he said when they are old and it's time then yes BUT.... he explained a system, pedantic, uniform, and functional.

He said when someone is sick and they need treatment one of their family or a friend must make a book saying why they are sick and how much the treatment costs. The person who is ill can't go and ask because they are sick (in Sri Lanka there is NO cultural pressure not to ask - it's allowed), because the person is ill a friend or relative must ask for them and go round the village and into the street to ask for the money for treatment. He said everyone pays what they can and if it's a child many pay more than they can!

A few people started doing this as a con with tourists but it's not a very successful one because the locals hate it being used and to westerners it looks like a con anyway. However if you friend or family is sick and you are the one with the book, you duty is to ask especially those that can give money which includes tourists.

And just in case some are sceptical I was sold a story to part me from my cash - the last two trips I offered to send the money I had for air fare instead of visiting, both times I was told it's more important for family and friends to see each other than have money. Now almost a decade later I have never been asked for more than the equivilant of £10 - oh and a promise that if one particular young man needs to be in hospital that I'll help pay the hospital directly, again it's never been a promise that's been cashed.

A different perspective indeed from the ranting of tourists asked for a few pennies.

I have always wished I could remember accurately enough our conversation where I tried to justify the need for two words 'want and need' instead of just the one word 'onae' meaning both. In the end I had to admit that I want/needed two words not one - that onae was truer of my want/need to judge between want and need.

See - Chinthaka would have argued the rich man was ok because he 'onae' the things he has, because he is afraid of losing them and because his happiness counts as much as the poorest man's. The poorest man is ok to ask for what he 'onae' and the wealthy one should give what he can, but what he can may be as much about his understanding and lack of fear as it is about the amount of money he has. Chinthaka was and still is a man without resentment who deeply loves people.

06-02-2006, 03:36 AM	#4 (permalink)
equus Member Join Date: Oct 2004 Location: uk Posts: 3,055	My friend was paying for his aunt in hospital, 1000 rupees a day - more than his earnings so soon they would have to bring her home to die. She was in her 70's and he took me with his family to see her, she used to be an english teacher and was keen to ask me questions in english. His sister in law was there and because she was deaf he and his wife busily translated both from english into sinhalese signing with some funny errors I gathered! I asked him whether many people died because they couldn't afford healthcare and he said when they are old and it's time then yes BUT.... he explained a system, pedantic, uniform, and functional. He said when someone is sick and they need treatment one of their family or a friend must make a book saying why they are sick and how much the treatment costs. The person who is ill can't go and ask because they are sick (in Sri Lanka there is NO cultural pressure not to ask - it's allowed), because the person is ill a friend or relative must ask for them and go round the village and into the street to ask for the money for treatment. He said everyone pays what they can and if it's a child many pay more than they can! A few people started doing this as a con with tourists but it's not a very successful one because the locals hate it being used and to westerners it looks like a con anyway. However if you friend or family is sick and you are the one with the book, you duty is to ask especially those that can give money which includes tourists. And just in case some are sceptical I was sold a story to part me from my cash - the last two trips I offered to send the money I had for air fare instead of visiting, both times I was told it's more important for family and friends to see each other than have money. Now almost a decade later I have never been asked for more than the equivilant of £10 - oh and a promise that if one particular young man needs to be in hospital that I'll help pay the hospital directly, again it's never been a promise that's been cashed. A different perspective indeed from the ranting of tourists asked for a few pennies. I have always wished I could remember accurately enough our conversation where I tried to justify the need for two words 'want and need' instead of just the one word 'onae' meaning both. In the end I had to admit that I want/needed two words not one - that onae was truer of my want/need to judge between want and need. See - Chinthaka would have argued the rich man was ok because he 'onae' the things he has, because he is afraid of losing them and because his happiness counts as much as the poorest man's. The poorest man is ok to ask for what he 'onae' and the wealthy one should give what he can, but what he can may be as much about his understanding and lack of fear as it is about the amount of money he has. Chinthaka was and still is a man without resentment who deeply loves people.