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Hello, spreadingwings. It's nice to see you here.
YES, YES, YES! We have been diagnosed with DID, although we don't consider ourselves to be disordered anymore, so we choose to call ourselves "multiple" instead.
It is entirely possible for the system to recover. We have been sober for 19 years, so we are proof that it can happen. But it didn't happen by anyone controling anyone else. In fact, we've found that when anyone IS trying to cotrol anyone else in the system it just makes things worse.
The things you've described about being unpredictable in meetings...that's happened to us too. That is, it USED to happen to us. A lot of the chaos we've experienced (in and out of the meetings) were maily because of all the internal fighting. That is why control doesn't work. Cooperation is what works and the only way we know of getting cooperation is by first establising communication with everyone in the system.
We are dealing with a lot of things in our system. Some of us are alcoholic, some of us are anorexic, some self-injure. All of these things we need to be in recovery for, but the first thing we had to deal with was the substance abuse because without getting sober first, there was no way we could address anything else. Getting sober was also how we began to heal from the DID and all the chaos that we were in. That is, it made everything else possible.
RECOVERY IS NOT IMPOSSIBLE! As multiples, we have additional things we need to do and consider, but we are entirely capable of doing it. We are more than happy to answer any questions you want to ask and/or to tell you some of the specific things we done that have helped. We know how hard it is when you don't know any other multiples that are in recovery. Supportive people in the program are invaluable, but sometimes they just don't know what to do or how to help. Sometimes people try to be helpful but they actually end up making thigs worse because the don't truely understand what's going on inside of us.
There is hope.
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