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Nina!
Hugs! You might not see it in my current journal as I have tried to appear mostly above it all but I have the same problems. I don't bathe, eat, have been depressed my whole life, have been from dr to dr, even put in the hospital for depression once, med to med. And, yes, it is the most tiring struggle. And now, as we have just discussed has led to addiction. I don't know who I am aside from depressed and anxious for quite a long time now. I really do understand.
I think it is a trick of the illness to think that we can be well through self-discipline. My dr's have told me that, my studies have told me that, my experience has told me that. But what is the trick to being well? I don't know. I am sick and tired of being sick and tired and always having excuses and not functioning or performing. Shutterbug has pulled off an amazing recovery in her bipolar journal. It gives me hope.
My hubby also does everything for me so that I can be helpless.
Anyway, don't feel alone in this because you are not.
hugs,
live
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Each small candle lights a corner of the dark....Roger Waters  |