 Learning to Accept Being Bipolar II
Friends, Last fall I went on a shoplifting binge and was caught. To make a long story short, I confessed to 1 misdemeanor and was given a suspended sentence. I survived a suicide attempt, and stabilized with the right meds and a good team of docs, including my employers Employee Assistance program. Yes, I am bipolar II, as well as an alcoholic with 9+
years of sobriety. Due to the grace of my HP I didn't drink during my ordeal. And you can bet I'll stay on my meds - to call your parents to pick you up from jail at age 43...that was so horrible for them. Thank god I didn't lose my job or security clearance, without which I'd be ruined. Problem is, I don't ever feel happy, I can't seem to forgive myself. I have made many positive changes in my life - including entering grad school in my field, but I hate the person I am. All this stuff is just stuff I'm doing, I don't feel depressed and suicidal but I hope the rest of my life is short. I know all this stuff is mostly genetic, and that I should feel okay because both alcoholism and bipolar II runs in my family, both sides, and I've coped with both. Do any of you have any advice to help me, I don't know, I guess just, how do I start to feel better, will I ever feel better?
AnnieU
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