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Hi.
First, I'd like to say congratulations on your recovery thus far. I, for one, am impressed and proud of you for the work you've done. I'm sure I can only imagine the additional difficulties of feeling like you are "gone" so much of the time. That must be very difficult.
I have never been formally diagnosed with DID (I didn't know that the name had changed), but was accused of having multiple personalities by cruel people in my life. I majored in psychology in college (but then switched to sociology)...and the joke was that psychology majors choose that major to straighten ourselves out. I've since found out that the saying is more true than not.
I've always been fascinated by the disorder. Since learning in ACOA about my inner child issues and recovery, I compare my damaged inner children/teens/young adults to Multiple personality disorder. It's as though a part of me just "stopped" emotionally growing at certain ages in my life, and every now and again, those damaged parts come out, usually at the most inopportune times. I have come to a point where I can pinpont the ages and the reasons for the stunted growths, and sometimes imagine a "meeting" with these "selves" of mine inside myself, asking them what they think of certain events and situations and people in my life. I picture myself giving them hugs, telling them "I love you," and reminding them whose in charge...that I'll let them "come out and play" once in a while, if they let me, the adult, run the show most of the time.
I realize that these inner children I speak to are damaged parts of myself, so I don't necessarily follow their guidance, but I do acknowledge to "them" (myself) that their thoughts, feelings and wants are important.
I commend you for getting so far in such a short amount of time. The more you know and recognize (depressing as that may be at the time of the revelation), the more you will be able to heal.
Kari
"Did you wake up today? Then it's not too late." --Maya Angelou
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