SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information - View Single Post - Life after addiction is better with friends...

Dallas Alice · 04-29-2006, 11:28 PM

Hi everyone,

I'm new here, but wanted to make a brief introduction before I delve into the heart of my "what's the matter."

Some of you probably know my story...or one like it, you know, apples and oranges. After a lifetime of drugs and alcohol, at 48 I find myself on methadone to help me stay away from vicodin and percocet. Just as I was once on the fence about trying to get off the pills, I now find myself on the fence wondering when...or if...it's time to try to wean off the methadone. Since I can't bear the thought of anything remotely uncomfortable, I know I will have to wean at a minimal amount, and at 120 mgs. a day, I'm looking at a year at least, maybe more. The thing is, I knew when I was ready to ask for help with my pill addiction, even though I can't to this day pinpoint exactly what it was that brought me to that place of reaching out. Now with the comfort that methadone gives me, like knowing even if I take anything I won't feel it so it would be a waste, I can tell by that sentence I just wrote that I'm probably not ready! I'm still thinking of them, I still dream of them, and the worst thing is, I've built a tolerance to my methadone level as I've been stable at it for over a year, but now it doesn't last as long, I have breakthrough wd feelings (thankfully minimal), but the biggest is my sleep is disrupted. There is no way I will increase my dose, so I either live with it the way it is (but feel I may be risking relapse), or I decide it's time...time to wean ever so slowly off the methadone, and then of course I will worry constantly about relapse. If I can wean down to 30 mgs., they will put me on the Suboxone, but then it will be one more thing to wean off of.

Anyway, I just don't know, and as I once found help at a forum such as this, here I am reaching out, asking questions, welcoming input and just saying 'hi' to some friends--hopefully both old and new.

Thanks for reading, and for those who know me (or the likes of me!), I surely have a whole lot more to say, so please beware of long diatribes, wandering thoughts, and small, smoky wisps of posts that evolve into full-blown fires.

Some names here are so familiar, it's as if I already know some of you...

Take care,
Dallas Alice

04-29-2006, 11:28 PM	#1 (permalink)
Dallas Alice Member Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: Colorado Posts: 4	Life after addiction is better with friends... Hi everyone, I'm new here, but wanted to make a brief introduction before I delve into the heart of my "what's the matter." Some of you probably know my story...or one like it, you know, apples and oranges. After a lifetime of drugs and alcohol, at 48 I find myself on methadone to help me stay away from vicodin and percocet. Just as I was once on the fence about trying to get off the pills, I now find myself on the fence wondering when...or if...it's time to try to wean off the methadone. Since I can't bear the thought of anything remotely uncomfortable, I know I will have to wean at a minimal amount, and at 120 mgs. a day, I'm looking at a year at least, maybe more. The thing is, I knew when I was ready to ask for help with my pill addiction, even though I can't to this day pinpoint exactly what it was that brought me to that place of reaching out. Now with the comfort that methadone gives me, like knowing even if I take anything I won't feel it so it would be a waste, I can tell by that sentence I just wrote that I'm probably not ready! I'm still thinking of them, I still dream of them, and the worst thing is, I've built a tolerance to my methadone level as I've been stable at it for over a year, but now it doesn't last as long, I have breakthrough wd feelings (thankfully minimal), but the biggest is my sleep is disrupted. There is no way I will increase my dose, so I either live with it the way it is (but feel I may be risking relapse), or I decide it's time...time to wean ever so slowly off the methadone, and then of course I will worry constantly about relapse. If I can wean down to 30 mgs., they will put me on the Suboxone, but then it will be one more thing to wean off of. Anyway, I just don't know, and as I once found help at a forum such as this, here I am reaching out, asking questions, welcoming input and just saying 'hi' to some friends--hopefully both old and new. Thanks for reading, and for those who know me (or the likes of me!), I surely have a whole lot more to say, so please beware of long diatribes, wandering thoughts, and small, smoky wisps of posts that evolve into full-blown fires. Some names here are so familiar, it's as if I already know some of you... Take care, Dallas Alice