Hi, xoducky;
And welcome to SR!
I'm sorry you've been through so much already in your life. That really stinks!
NONE of what happened is your fault!! NOT ONE BIT OF IT!
You mom is very ill and she's not talking sense. Please understand this -- it's not her talking, it's her disease -- the disease of alcoholism. And alcoholism is a progressive disease, xoducky. She will get worse if she doesn't get herself help.
And so will your problems, if you don't get help. I urge you to go to alateen. It's a program associated with alanon. You can ask your school counselor for help finding one near you. And also, speak with your school student assistance counselor or a priest/minister/rabbi for your spiritual needs to be addressed.
You can get through this, xoducky. And one place that can really lpe is another web site designed just for kids your age. It's called
www.soberteensonline.com
I do hope you'll go there and register. There, you'll find others dealing with the same issues you are. You can help support each other by sharing your experience, strenght and hope.
Be well, xoducky...you deserve much more than you're getting right now. With help getting through this, you will get all the beauty this world has to offer, and that you deserve.
Shalom!