Hey Ruby...
Yeah...
I'd say that your behavior is probably rooted in your condition.
This link explains it really well...
http://www.nimh.nih.gov/Publicat/bipolar.cfm
For myself...
I had to limit the things I committed to... because I would feel instant anxiety as soon as I committed to something...
And when I knew I did need to commit to something... I always felt best when I had months in advance to get my mind around it...
As time has gone on in recovery though... I am more and more able to trust that I can say no when I need to...
that I can stop my people pleasing..
That I can live my life one day at a time in ways that are pleasing and acceptable to ME.. period..
I believe today that a lot of my bipolar behavior comes from stilted beliefs I hold.. as well as chemical conditions in my body.
As I think.. I am....
Studying the condition helps to life a lot of guilt and shame from us from past stuff...
Just keep talking and writing... and punch a few pillows... ;o)