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I think the first thing I would do if I were you would be to contact a lawyer and get custody rights established. This way she can't leave the state and take your son. I would also be very careful about having her daughter at your house at this point so that you can't be falsely accused of any wrong doing.
Make sure your son is being well taken care of. If not call child protective services.
As far as dealing with the relationship it might help if you begin by reading several of the posts on the nar-anon or family and friends forums above that might shed some light on how to handle it. There are power posts and sticky posts on the top of both of those forums that are very good.
Others will also be here to offer suggestions and experience.
Welcome to the forums.
Hugs,
MG
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