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Old 04-26-2006, 12:10 PM   #7 (permalink)
Don S
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Join Date: May 2003
Location: Northern CA
Posts: 1,437
Drinking is often a result of poor coping skills. Many people automatically turn to escape and avoidance strategies when dealing with distress. This may include drinking, drug use, cutting, eating behaviors, etc. When someone learns to control one coping behavior, but still automatically moves from distress into escape and avoidance, that person is simply adopting another self-harming behavior.

Having gotten in the habit of moving rapidly through the process makes the harmful escape behaviors hard habits to break--whatever they are. Your partner is likely to just trade this behavior for something else. That person is also pretty likely to return to the drinking or drug use, because drugs are more effective in the short run than any of the substitute behaviors.
Doing nothing means accepting the behavior, IMO, and you're likely to get tired of it. A behavioral therapist (CBT, REBT, DBT) could help your partner find better ways to cope with the factors that led to the drinking in the first place. I don't know what the best way is to communicate that, because we don't know how your partnership functions. Couples counseling, online links, or just concerned but supportive comments? Your call.
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