SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information - View Single Post - transferring addictions in early recovery

RisingPhoenix · 04-25-2006, 07:34 AM

Go,

I noticed the transferring in my (now ex) bf. I'm not sure about the addictive personality thing, but there is weight in it because I've witnessed it. He quit drinking and 'cane and started on grass, food and spending money - lots of money - buying stuff. Constantly filling his house with STUFF - 1/2 of which he never used. He bought a whole library of books and to this day, I doubt, has read any of them. He stocked his kitchen with every single imaginable cooking utensil and he does not cook.

Someone once told me he was chasing feel-good. Anything to make himself feel better.

I would (gently) bring it up. His justification? "Get off my back." (Yeah, I know the irritable and defensiveness well!) "If it keeps me from drinking and doing lines, what's the harm? If you're expecting me to be a priest, you're in for a rude awakening."

We stopped at a bakery once before a movie to 'get a little treat' and he bought 5 GIANT cookies. 5 cookies. You do the math.

During March Madness, I didn't see him for 5 days. He was betting (obsessively) on the games. "Surely you don't expect me to be away while the games are playing! I have to watch and see if I win!!!!"

I don't know if this helps, it's just my experience.

Best of luck. I'm sure there are others that can give you some substantial advice. I am just letting you know that you are not alone.

04-25-2006, 07:34 AM	#2 (permalink)
RisingPhoenix Member Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: East Posts: 43	Go, I noticed the transferring in my (now ex) bf. I'm not sure about the addictive personality thing, but there is weight in it because I've witnessed it. He quit drinking and 'cane and started on grass, food and spending money - lots of money - buying stuff. Constantly filling his house with STUFF - 1/2 of which he never used. He bought a whole library of books and to this day, I doubt, has read any of them. He stocked his kitchen with every single imaginable cooking utensil and he does not cook. Someone once told me he was chasing feel-good. Anything to make himself feel better. I would (gently) bring it up. His justification? "Get off my back." (Yeah, I know the irritable and defensiveness well!) "If it keeps me from drinking and doing lines, what's the harm? If you're expecting me to be a priest, you're in for a rude awakening." We stopped at a bakery once before a movie to 'get a little treat' and he bought 5 GIANT cookies. 5 cookies. You do the math. During March Madness, I didn't see him for 5 days. He was betting (obsessively) on the games. "Surely you don't expect me to be away while the games are playing! I have to watch and see if I win!!!!" I don't know if this helps, it's just my experience. Best of luck. I'm sure there are others that can give you some substantial advice. I am just letting you know that you are not alone.