Hi Sped
I sympathize with your situation regarding your husband and his severe depression. Our 21 year old daughter is going through the same thing. To make matters worse, she's coming off of rapid detox for heroin addiction. Needless to say, we were devastated to learn this. We thought we did everything right as parents. Good schools, loving home, church on Sundays. I've beat myself up a million times wondering how I failed her.
Her depression started around the age of 12, about the time most girls have problems with self esteem. We've spent so much of our time, resources and money trying to help her but to no avail. When she finally came to us and told us she'd been using drugs for the past 8 months, it was like our world collapsed.
Since her detox a month ago, her psychiatrist has prescribed Wellbutrin twice a day. One of our main problems is getting her to take the medication. I don't know if she's lazy, forgetful or both but my husband and I have to make sure she takes it. She's only been on the Wellbutrin for 3 weeks and it does take a while before you will see any positive effects so it's critical that anyone taking an antidepressant stick with the program. I think that's why so many fail because of the length of time involved. You just can't get immediate results so a lot of people think it's not working and give up hope.
I understand how frustrating it is for you dealing with your husband in this situation. You want so much to help him but the reality is, he's got to want to get better. With my daughter, I alternate between wanting to "fix" everything wrong with her and then getting frustrated that she isn't trying to take a more pro-active role in her recovery.
It's beyond painful watching a loved one heading on a course for disaster. I live with it every day of my life and it's beginning to affect my own mental health. I met with her psychiatrist right after her rapid detox and plan on meeting him again next week. I'm wondering if perhaps there isn't some additional medication that might be helpful in addition to the Wellbutrin. She suffers horribly with panic and anxiety attacks which are made worse because she's coming off a drug addiction. My fear is that she will return to drugs if we can't get her depression under control.
Sorry this letter was so long and even sorrier that I have no easy answers for you. I do think it's important that you also meet with your husband's doctor so you have a clear understanding of a diagnosis and suggestions on how you can help. If nothing else, you need to take care of yourself because no matter what happens with your husband, you need to be strong for your family and children.
If you'd like to chat privately, you can email me at
AllieKatz@aol.com.
God bless
