Hi all thought i would share how i feel> I am so depressed its all i can do to leave the house I feel myself getting worse everyday. Recently i have stopped smoking and i am a recovering hydroccodne addict its almost been one month. I have lost a child to murder and a husband who drowned in the past 8 yrs. I dont think that i have ever felt so out of it like i do right now i have been on paxil and other drugs like zoloft that actually made me suicidal so i stopped taking them. This is taking over my life well it has taken over my life. The only time i leave the house is to go to work and that is very much a struggle. I dont think my kids know me anymore because like when i was on hydro i stayed in the bedroom all day and night. Well i am back to the bedroom again while my husband is taking care of the kids. Also i have severe insomnia I dont know what to do. I am going to make a doctors appt and see if he can help me. I am so scared of anti depressants because of my past experiences with the side effects. I really feel as if i am losing my mind right now. I cant think straight at all and i cant concentrate. When i was in rehab i was diagnosed with major depression. And PTSD. They put me on paxil again and i stopped taking it after 2 days due to the way i was feeling. Can someone relate to how i feel and what doy out hink i should do i am getting worse everyday.
