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Grasshopper · 04-19-2006, 08:29 AM

Can relate....smile.It really was when i got tired of myself saying yes,to everyone for everything that they wanted from me,that i changed.My life was a mess,going all over the place.I didnt know if i was coming or going.I handed my life over to others,and had very little time for myself,and what i needed to do,for myself..And of course,as fate would have it,my first no,was to folks who dont accept the words no.lol.I was surprised by their reactions,for i had expected that they would accept my saying no,as i have accepted the times that they had said no to me.But this wasnt the case at all.They were offened,mad,calling me names,,etc..Oh boy.So,at first saying no,i would go on,and on,and on,with my explainations of why im saying no,to the deaf ears.My explainations were not good enough in anothers eyes.Then i came to realize that some folks,not all folks of course,but some like to control others.For me to go on,and on,and they keep saying to me,i dont understand can you explain some more.My tounge was wore out,and i ended up doing what they wanted in the first place.In doing this i was resentful at them and myself.Why be resentful of them,it worked out for them,lol..So i bombed out the first time i said no.Now to learn to say no,and mean it.Progress not perfection,,,smile.Through practice,i can today say no.I will explain myself if i really feel that i want to,or i think that another is open to listening.As soon as i find out,im talking to walls,i say no more.My actions speak for me.To be kind,as i can,and say no to others.My belief years ago was that it was not healthy for me to say no to others.To always be there for them.And hey they might not like me,if i say no.I was in fear,about saying no.But living that way wore me down.There is a time.A time to help others,and a time that i need help.Today saying no,to folks who dont want to accept this,i keep reminding myself,that no matter how another reacts,is none of my business,and that,i will have peace inside of me.This i pray inside.Most folks from my own experience accept my saying no,and there is no problem.Its the rare ones who dont.Most folks respect,that i and they can be honest,and say no to each other when the need arises.The pressure is off,and we are open with each other.Really accepting each other.
May God,s Peace be with you always,
Thanks for letting me share,my es&h.

04-19-2006, 08:29 AM	#3 (permalink)
Grasshopper Member Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: Green,green grass of home Posts: 600	Can relate....smile.It really was when i got tired of myself saying yes,to everyone for everything that they wanted from me,that i changed.My life was a mess,going all over the place.I didnt know if i was coming or going.I handed my life over to others,and had very little time for myself,and what i needed to do,for myself..And of course,as fate would have it,my first no,was to folks who dont accept the words no.lol.I was surprised by their reactions,for i had expected that they would accept my saying no,as i have accepted the times that they had said no to me.But this wasnt the case at all.They were offened,mad,calling me names,,etc..Oh boy.So,at first saying no,i would go on,and on,and on,with my explainations of why im saying no,to the deaf ears.My explainations were not good enough in anothers eyes.Then i came to realize that some folks,not all folks of course,but some like to control others.For me to go on,and on,and they keep saying to me,i dont understand can you explain some more.My tounge was wore out,and i ended up doing what they wanted in the first place.In doing this i was resentful at them and myself.Why be resentful of them,it worked out for them,lol..So i bombed out the first time i said no.Now to learn to say no,and mean it.Progress not perfection,,,smile.Through practice,i can today say no.I will explain myself if i really feel that i want to,or i think that another is open to listening.As soon as i find out,im talking to walls,i say no more.My actions speak for me.To be kind,as i can,and say no to others.My belief years ago was that it was not healthy for me to say no to others.To always be there for them.And hey they might not like me,if i say no.I was in fear,about saying no.But living that way wore me down.There is a time.A time to help others,and a time that i need help.Today saying no,to folks who dont want to accept this,i keep reminding myself,that no matter how another reacts,is none of my business,and that,i will have peace inside of me.This i pray inside.Most folks from my own experience accept my saying no,and there is no problem.Its the rare ones who dont.Most folks respect,that i and they can be honest,and say no to each other when the need arises.The pressure is off,and we are open with each other.Really accepting each other. May God,s Peace be with you always, Thanks for letting me share,my es&h.