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ive found meetings a vital source of faith and strength for me. im validated, im heard and seen, im loved unconditionally, i grow in TRUST of others and in loving detachment, i belong to a community, i become one with others in spiritual commnunion to both god and ourselves at the same time. im doing step 4 and with a sponsor too because i can very easily berate myself. we say in recovery AWARENESS, ACCEPTANCE, ACTION. I often think where the hell am i going and why am i even here, but an answer to that is who am i, and where am i now? i often feel rushed by the belief that i have to be going somewhere. thats because i always longed for tomorrow growing up in a dysfunctional family. my family had abig influence on who i am today, there are also influences from my inherent nature which is sensitive and from my culture and other things. once im aware theres a grieving process so that i can accept the past as unchangeable, wooo! not an easy thing but it is POSSIBLE. and the action for me in one thing, one day at a time because im HUMAN and thats the best i can do for today. making a searching and fearless moral inventory of myself uncovers all my assets and liabilities, for me whats been holding me back the most is resentment, justification and mistrust, and its no wonder...its no wonder....going the gentle approach with love and compassion for myself but always progress even if its goes back a bit sometimes. it all gets clearer in time.
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