Old 06-01-2003, 10:46 PM
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mreneerouser
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Join Date: Jun 2003
Location: Sacramento, CA
Posts: 4
Almost fully detoxed-methadone-I'm new! Long but might help some people

Hi everyone, I am new. I have a story similiar to many. Different from many as well. I won't go into it but my life is coming to a crossroad. I am ready to cross over to the other side- a recovering addict.

Right now, I am on methadone. Rather than fail on a 21 day detox, I have been on a 6 month detox. I started at a high of 32mg. Which is not very high. I went very slow and now I am on 18 mg. The key is slow and steady. I do not have any withdrawal symptoms. I worked the program for what it is worth. I stayed honest with myself and in fact, I carry the drugs that caused my addiction- Norco (double the strength of Vicodin) with me. I carry two pills. I have no desire to take them. I look at those pills every day and I tell myself that I am stronger than those pills and they will not overpower me.

I started intensive therapy at the methadone clinic right along with the detox. I see my counselor once a week and I see a psychiatrist once every three weeks at the clinic. I was diagnosed as Bipolar Rapid Cyling type II which helps explain my desire to self medicate.

I've been on 14 different Bipolar meds with no success and I'm still trying. I have problems with the meds not because I'm also on methadone (although methadone does not help the situation any) but because I have special digestive problems that make me absorb psych meds differently. I also have low blood pressure problems as well.

I also just graduated from law school while on methadone and while I am trying different psych meds w/ all their side effects.

I used to beat myself up for all the mess I made. Now I think of myself as a survivor. I managed to make it this far w/ all this on my back.

I am in my last month on methadone. I will do it. I have no psychological craving for the methadone. I am prepared for the physical withdrawal that I know will happen in spite of my slow titration off of this drug.

Many people do not like methadone and mostly I agree with them. I used to nod off on the drug, have horrible struggles to remember anything and get irritated easily but if you work the system it will work for you.

DO NOT GO THROUGH A 21 DAY DETOX if you are on methadone. Be prepared to go through a minimum of 6 months on detox. Don't fall into the maintainence trap. It begins to feel comfortable on methadone so many do not bother going through a long term detox. Commit yourself to a goal of detox right from the beginning and commit yourself to intensive psychotherapy including psych meds if needed. Everytime you go down in methadone, consider that a huge accomplishment and a step toward your ultimate goal.

If you are still reading my post, thank you. I wrote this for myself as well as for any of you who might benefit.

Wish me luck in my last month of methadone. I will let you know how it works.

Much respect to all those who survived this horrible illness. M

One more thing--- In my eyes, three weeks of pure hell going through the physical withdrawals is worth a lifetime of being drug free and not having to deal with this stuff anymore.

Last edited by mreneerouser; 06-01-2003 at 10:56 PM.
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