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thank you everyone for your replies. today is a slightly better day, and the day is almost over so that makes it even better.
to answer a few questions: i was diagnosised with Bipolar, ADD, Depression, PTSD and BPD 5 years ago. After several hospitalizations and lots of medications, we seemed to find a combo that was working (Effexor 150mg BID and Seroquel 50mg every night). My living situation was really good, and that helped to stabilze me for awhile. However this last year has been really tough- my grandmother passed away March 31st 2005 after a long battle with cancer and diabetes. My doctor increased the Effexor over the summer to a total of 375mg a day. Then my roomate, who was my surrogate mom, got really sick and was in and out of the hospital. We finally found out she had lung cancer and she passed away here at home on 12/13/05. This has sent my world into a tailspin, and the depression has been about as bad as it was in the beginning. The doctor again increased the Effexor to a total of 450mg about 6 weeks ago. Also, my dad is now staying with me because he got evicted from his house about 1 month ago. He is an alcoholic and trying to get treatment for his own depression and problems. Everyone keeps saying that having my dad here is doing me more harm then good, but if he were gone, i would be all by myself and don't think i would have anything holding me back from just giving up. i do work full time, however this has been hard to keep up with.
sorry for another long long post. this board has been really helpful, and i don't mean to take advantage of that!
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