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I am IN PAIN!!!
I am feeling physically drained! I have the flu and I feel dreadful! its like having a hangover...remember those? well its like that! Feeling fuzzy, i lack concentration and just want to shut it all out! i want it to go away!!!! I dont like being ill, im sure i prolong any sort of minor illness by hanging on to the fact i dont like it!!!!!!!!
Its Monday, kids are at school hubby at work....I am waiting to hear about this job....its agonising, I have spent the last 6 days swinging form convincing myself I have it to being rejected!!!!! I want to scream with the frustration of it and the 'injustice'!! of having to wait for an answer......
I know I deserve to have a good job, I have worked real hard for this, I have done my Cert HE and my foundation degree, I have experience....what is wrong with ME??????
I love what i do....maybe god just wants me to change direction? I keep trying and trying and nothing seems to come about!!!
What is wrong with me?????
I am in pain.....I hate feeling like this, I have done some math this morning, some was ok, some is very difficult...I keep trying!
I have an essay to ....'finish' it needs all the academic checks done...bibligraphy etc itll take time....I have another assignment to prepare, why do I panic? what is wrong with me!!!!!!!
I am frightened that i will fail, im frightened of rejection.....what is wrong with me!!!!!
oh well had to get that out I will get it done i just have to keep plugging away at it....just had to share that mental turmoil....committee turned up real loud today!!! keep telling them to **** off but they have hired back up today and are getting very noisy!!!
time for more maths!
then assignment...
need to prioritise
will check back later
thankyou for listening!
love purrdyxxxxxxx
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