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ranae1221 · 03-19-2006, 06:07 PM

I am not qualified to make a diganosis or anything like that, however what you are describing sounds like you are suffering from depression. Do you or anyone in your family have a history of depression? Have you ever sought treatment for it?

I suffered from horrible depression untill my first suicide attempt. It wasn't untill then that I began to get the help I needed, including starting on medication. There are many different treatment opitions available.

You need to seek help, ASAP, especially since you are having feelings of wanting to die. Do you have a primary doctor? He or she can help give you referrals as to what is available in your area. You can call your health insurance plan and see what doctors and/or therapists are available. If you don't have any of there, you can try sites such as NAMI, which will also help direct you where to start.

I don't know what else to say.....at my lowest point, nothing anyone said or did really helped. Everyone kept saying how "it would get better" and to not give up. I didn't believe them, and was ready to give up. But I read this once, and it helped me decide to really focus on getting better and making changes. I will share it with you.

Why is there hope?

There is hope because no one of us is ever a finished product. There is hope because no matter what you believe right now you do not have to hold to that forever if it is not working for you. Whatever we do or say that causes chaos and pain in our lives we can learn to stop choosing. Change is scary, but, if you can open yourself to the reality that change is what enables us to grow and to heal our pain than you can learn to dream. Once you learn to dream and you begin to envision something other than what you currently know or what you have always known --the way you experience your life and your relationships -- then you can also embrace the reality of hope.

Okay...so right here and now, you are reading this and you may well say to yourself, but I can't control myself because I hurt too much, or I need to too much, or no one understands, or no one cares and so forth. Choose to take in "reality" and push out the "illusions" of old. YES you can control yourself. YES you can take back the control over the emotions, namely fear and hurt, that fuel the anger and the rage of your young and innocent inner-child that so have over-run you until now. HOPE! You are in control of the very choices that mold and shape your life, whether you consiously accept this or not. You have the choice to STOP being a victim of the past and to start being a person who has survived it. Work to heal from it. THE ONLY WAY TO HEAL FROM IT IS TO GREIVE it and then LET IT GO AND CHOOSE TO MOVE ON Herein lies so very much hope!

Hope and the reality of bringing your hopes and dreams to fruition depends upon you. Yes YOU! Each of us is responsible for who it is that we allow ourselves to be once we reach adulthood. You can choose to let go of the patterns and the dynamics that have kept you a prisoner of your pain. Free yourself from the chains of BPD. The way to begin is by learning how to hope. Hope is a key ingredient in faith. It will take both hope and faith to give you the strength that is required to courageously step out of all that you've known and to reach for the mental health that you deserve.

Give hope a chance -- what do you have to lose?

You have everything to gain.

03-19-2006, 06:07 PM	#2 (permalink)
ranae1221 Member Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: Arizona Posts: 318	I am not qualified to make a diganosis or anything like that, however what you are describing sounds like you are suffering from depression. Do you or anyone in your family have a history of depression? Have you ever sought treatment for it? I suffered from horrible depression untill my first suicide attempt. It wasn't untill then that I began to get the help I needed, including starting on medication. There are many different treatment opitions available. You need to seek help, ASAP, especially since you are having feelings of wanting to die. Do you have a primary doctor? He or she can help give you referrals as to what is available in your area. You can call your health insurance plan and see what doctors and/or therapists are available. If you don't have any of there, you can try sites such as NAMI, which will also help direct you where to start. I don't know what else to say.....at my lowest point, nothing anyone said or did really helped. Everyone kept saying how "it would get better" and to not give up. I didn't believe them, and was ready to give up. But I read this once, and it helped me decide to really focus on getting better and making changes. I will share it with you. Why is there hope? There is hope because no one of us is ever a finished product. There is hope because no matter what you believe right now you do not have to hold to that forever if it is not working for you. Whatever we do or say that causes chaos and pain in our lives we can learn to stop choosing. Change is scary, but, if you can open yourself to the reality that change is what enables us to grow and to heal our pain than you can learn to dream. Once you learn to dream and you begin to envision something other than what you currently know or what you have always known --the way you experience your life and your relationships -- then you can also embrace the reality of hope. Okay...so right here and now, you are reading this and you may well say to yourself, but I can't control myself because I hurt too much, or I need to too much, or no one understands, or no one cares and so forth. Choose to take in "reality" and push out the "illusions" of old. YES you can control yourself. YES you can take back the control over the emotions, namely fear and hurt, that fuel the anger and the rage of your young and innocent inner-child that so have over-run you until now. HOPE! You are in control of the very choices that mold and shape your life, whether you consiously accept this or not. You have the choice to STOP being a victim of the past and to start being a person who has survived it. Work to heal from it. THE ONLY WAY TO HEAL FROM IT IS TO GREIVE it and then LET IT GO AND CHOOSE TO MOVE ON Herein lies so very much hope! Hope and the reality of bringing your hopes and dreams to fruition depends upon you. Yes YOU! Each of us is responsible for who it is that we allow ourselves to be once we reach adulthood. You can choose to let go of the patterns and the dynamics that have kept you a prisoner of your pain. Free yourself from the chains of BPD. The way to begin is by learning how to hope. Hope is a key ingredient in faith. It will take both hope and faith to give you the strength that is required to courageously step out of all that you've known and to reach for the mental health that you deserve. Give hope a chance -- what do you have to lose? You have everything to gain.