Hi Mirella,
Alcoholism is such a confusing thing to try to grasp... let alone trying to seperate it from the person we love so much.
The most important thing you can do at this point is to begin the process of your own recovery. As the child of an alcoholic, there are most likely many issues hidden away - ones that are so important to your growth as an adult. Get to an Alanon / ACOA meeting, and listen to the wisdom
of experience... so many people have walked in your shoes and can be of such encouragement to you.
Whatever it is that your father needs help with, wouldn't it be great to be able to actually "help" without all the emotional fallout?
Take care of yourself... begin by putting YOU at the top of the list.
Meg