[BayouSelf]

My AH and I split up four months ago and decided to work on our marriage while living separate and apart. It has been very tough trying to build trust issues with someone that you are no longer living with. However, with help from Al-Anon and my Higher Power, I've gotten through the last four months without much difficulty. My AH has been going to AA meetings and found a sponsor and he has been working his program and doing well. He's a new person and I'm so proud of him. The only thing is that I really believed that our marriage would work out if he got into recovery and now that he's got a little sense of independence and a little self esteem, he's not sure he wants to come home. I feel all this time, I've hung in there, been to hell and back and have hoped and dreamed of recovery for him and now that he has it, it doesn't look like he's interested in being married to me. When he was drinking, he used to beg and plead and would do anything to be with me? I guess now I'm not looking too great from a sober person's eyes? I've never been any closer to God than I have been in the last few months and I'm starting to wonder where God is now? I'm feeling very lost and lonely.