[Kellye C]

IMHO and experience, he doesn't go to meetings or stop drinking because he is not sick and tired of being sick and tired. Until he reaches the point where he wants to quit more than he wants to drink don't look for any changes. And don't hold your breath either. There are many people who die in this disease and never do anything about it.

Having said that, in no way do your health problems or those of your mom cause him to drink. They are merely excuses and a way for him to deny his own stuff by shifting the blame to you and others. Alcoholics are masters of lying, deception, manipulation and denial. They are also miserable and have no compunctions about taking you down there with them, especially if they can blame you for their problems and you allow it.

Having said all that, you did not cause his problems and you do not have to accept any of the blame for his problems. Refuse to dance this little dance. You don't say why you see him daily but if you can not see him I would highly recommend it. Get away from the situation, don't allow him to drag you down and blame you, don't put yourself in the path to listen to his oneliners. Focus on you and doing what you have to do to get yourself healthy both physically and mentally. I would highly recommend that you attend al-anon. You will find many people who have been in the same boat and you will learn how to let him deal with his own stuff without if affecting you.

Hugs,
Kellye