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cmh · 05-23-2003, 07:50 PM

hi! i was diagnosed bi polar about 1 1/2 years ago. but at that time i refused to accept it, even though i had 3 different docs tell me that. i went ahead and let them put me on depakote and buspar. but that messed up my sleeping and made more more irritable and more likely to go off on people. so i quit everything. meds, doctors, everything. then after everyone who used to be around me stoped coming around because i was such a b**ch. i realized that maybe the doctors were right. maybe i might be bi polar. but im not even really sure what the signs are. i just know i get real mad, real quick. then i can be ok. now my counselor wants me to see the doctor and be put on lithium. but im scared. i dont want to walk around like a zombie. i just want my moods leveled out and want my friends back. they say that theyre still my friends, but they are kinda scared of me. when i get mad, i get really violent. so maybe if lithium wont make me be a zombie ill do it.

05-23-2003, 07:50 PM	#1 (permalink)
cmh Paused Join Date: May 2003 Location: palestine, tx Posts: 2	me, bipolar? hi! i was diagnosed bi polar about 1 1/2 years ago. but at that time i refused to accept it, even though i had 3 different docs tell me that. i went ahead and let them put me on depakote and buspar. but that messed up my sleeping and made more more irritable and more likely to go off on people. so i quit everything. meds, doctors, everything. then after everyone who used to be around me stoped coming around because i was such a b**ch. i realized that maybe the doctors were right. maybe i might be bi polar. but im not even really sure what the signs are. i just know i get real mad, real quick. then i can be ok. now my counselor wants me to see the doctor and be put on lithium. but im scared. i dont want to walk around like a zombie. i just want my moods leveled out and want my friends back. they say that theyre still my friends, but they are kinda scared of me. when i get mad, i get really violent. so maybe if lithium wont make me be a zombie ill do it.