Rosedreamer:
Good questions! I like Jewel's reply--that you have an HP, you just don't know it yet!
I'll share mine with you, if you like.
As far as getting your husband to a meeting, I would say that's a decision he has to make. Mine doesn't believe he has a problem yet, either--thinks it's all me! Or I should say, he tries to put the blame on me--not happening!
The best thing to do, is take care of you. You can't change him, but you can change you, and how you react to him.
Take care,
Lyn